Indian Matchmaking- a modern take on tradition

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Courtesy of Netflix

Sima Taparia, the matchmaker that stars in Netflix’s new reality dating show, reveals how an ancient old tradition has adapted to a fast-paced, modernizing world.

The only experience I have ever had with matchmaking has been through the eyes of the Disney princess Mulan and, like her, I didn’t like what I saw. Notoriously cold-hearted, short-tempered, and imposing, the Matchmaker definitely did not seem like the kind of person you would want selecting your future spouse. 

Enter Sima Taparia, Mumbai’s top matchmaker. In Netflix’s new eight-part docuseries  Indian Matchmaking, viewers join Taparia for an inside look on how she approaches her job of joining together some of the most eligible and influential singles in all of India. 

Whether they’ve elected Taparia’s services because of familial pressures to get married or because of frustrating dry spells in their romantic life, Taparia, or “Auntie Sima” as her clients lovingly refer to her as, always approaches the task of pairing them the same way- feeling out the preferences of both the candidate and their family, selecting compatible suitors, and introducing them through a biodata profile. If both parties and their families like what they see on paper, they’ll be able to move forward with an in-person meeting. 

While it isn’t what you would call the most organic way of meeting, Taparia’s tactics have been overwhelmingly successful in the past. Having had an arranged marriage herself at the age of 19 (which has lasted 37 years and is still going strong), Taparia has had extensive experience in the marriage sphere, with her list of over 135 South Asian and Desi clientele expanding beyond India and into Hong Kong, the US, and the UK. 

Unlike its Netflix dating show counterparts Love is Blind and Too Hot to Handle, the premise of Indian Matchmaking is one that factors in a fresh take on culture, heritage, and tradition but doesn’t shy away from discussing the immense pressure South Asians, especially women, feel from their parents to settle down early. While there has long existed an internalized stigma against the concept of arranged marriages in the Western world, the idea isn’t nearly as hard to digest for many who grew up in traditionally conservative societies such as India (though we routinely see the traditions being challenged by progressive clients).  

“In India, we don’t say ‘arranged marriage’,” says Taparia in the opening minutes of the show. “There is ‘marriage’ and then ‘love marriage’.” 

Beyond testing for compatibility through evaluating her clients’ personalities and dispositions, Taparia also utilizes horoscopes, face readers, and prayers in order to find auspicious matches. Astrology, in particular, holds special weight in the matchmaking process, with many clients preferring pairings that have been preapproved by the stars. 

“Ultimately, my efforts are meaningless if the stars are not aligned,” Taparia says. “Marriage isn’t just about two individuals and families coming together but also about fusion of minds where they complement each other.” 

Throughout the show, Taparia frequently consults Janardhan Dhurbe, a professional face reader, and even recommends one of her clients to meet with Pandit Dilip Bhatt, a retired Los Angeles aerospace engineer who now focuses on his astrology. 

And while the basis behind the show is intriguing on its own, it is the colorful cast of millennials, who both reside in the States and various regions of India, that makes the series worth the watch. 

Aparna, one of the three people viewers are introduced to in the first episode, is a 34-year-old Houston-based lawyer (although she claims to hate being a lawyer) looking for a guy who isn’t funny (“You know how I hate comedy”), doesn’t like the outdoors (“I do not like the outdoors”), and loves traveling but hates touristy things (“Weirdly, touristy places freak me out.”). Right off the bat, Aparna, who is called “stubborn and obstinate” multiple times throughout the show, becomes one of the main draws. As the client with the most dates and the most rejections, Aparna quickly gives those tuning in to Indian Matchmaking a reality TV personality to indulge in. 

Alongside Aparna, we meet many other singles, including an Austin native named Vyasar (who holds a secret as sinister as it is heart-breaking), 25-year-old Akshay (who faces pressure from his mother to marry by the end of the year) and Nadia (who gets stood up twice). While it isn’t revealed if some of the cast meet their one true love by the end of the season (perhaps the only downside of the series), their personalities and sometimes heart-wrenching backgrounds definitely have us falling in love. 

Even though the matchmaking process is ultimately about finding a significant other, many clients also experience profound growth as individuals. Taparia is often seen recommending clients to not only assess the characteristics of their potential matches but also to find a balance within themselves. It’s evident multiple times throughout the series that in their search for their other half, many also wind up finding themselves. 

“I think that each match that Sima brought me brought me a smaller piece of understanding for myself of who I am,” said Nadia after a date Sima prepared for her. “And I think I’ve become stronger because of it.” 

Directed by Oscar-nominated director Smriti Mundhra, Indian Matchmaking presents a modern take on a cherished process so embedded within South Asian culture that it’s often overlooked. Mundhra, who also directed the 2017 documentary “A Suitable Girl” (which explores the disproportionate impact arranged marriages seem to have on women), manages to interweave individual stories together whilst maintaining strong didactic themes. Presenting a new viewpoint on what modern love is, the show captures the behind the scenes process of a commonly misunderstood practice, and the sometimes unpleasant notes of sexism, vanity, and class divide that are associated with it. With the season concluding with a cliffhanger and unfinished romantic narratives from the majority of the cast, the show definitely has us on the edge of our seats and waiting eagerly for a rumored season two.