During the month of October, a major portion of our CAPD (College and Personal Development) class lessons were devoted to encouraging body positivity. These lessons covered a range of topics, such as self – awareness or learning about other people’s experiences. Despite the importance of this topic, many students at The Village School seem unaware of just how impactful body image is.
A couple of teachers have said that students in their classes weren’t taking the lessons seriously. Many students made jokes about the lessons or called them boring and pointless. During the body positivity lessons in Ms. Harrison’s (an English teacher at The Village School) CAPD class, students said things such as, “If they have an issue with their body they should just change it” or “If you are fat just get skinny.” Whether or not students are aware of this, body image issues are a large part of the negative aspects of a person’s self-image. Learning both awareness and empathy are important skills that are necessary for combatting the negativity surrounding physical appearance.
The conversation about body positivity is often guarded with a veil of pride. People don’t often realize that the stereotypes they perpetuate are exactly the problem. Being called skinny is a compliment for some and an insult for others. Then comes the conversation of whether or not that size is healthy. No matter how you flip it, commenting on someone else’s physical appearance, whether positive or negative, may not be of any benefit to them. Some may even argue that a compliment may bring something to their attention that they hadn’t thought of before.
Let’s take a look at some harmful behaviors that students have expressed. Something you might hear when walking through the halls of a high school is a student saying “You’re so big” to another. People call themselves fat for eating a certain way. While it may be played off as a joke, it can actually have a major negative effect on those around. “I hear people say really hurtful things about weight or appearance and they just play it off as a joke. I don’t know if they care if people hear them, but it’s hard to hear.” An anonymous student said, “I struggled with my weight for a while, sometimes I’d skip lunch and my relationship with food got weird. When you hear stuff like that it’s really hard to feel normal about eating food and stuff.”
In this day and age, people are far too comfortable commenting on others’ appearance. Whether it’s a positive or negative comment, it can be harmful to a person. You might be thinking “How could giving someone a compliment hurt them?” This is because certain aspects of a person’s appearance are out of their control and you do not know whether they are happy with their appearance or not. There are certain things about another you should never comment on. Some of these things include weight, skin color, height, etc. When you comment on these it can potentially be harmful to the person it is directed to, regardless of whether it was meant positively or negatively.
The social noise of expectation and standards are especially prevalent in high school. Given that we are all growing and developing, certain standards and expectations are becoming increasingly perpetuated and can lead to a fractured self image and a longing to fit. Students are often flooded with these things, whether it’s social media, people around us, or even our school uniform. Certain aspects of high school life all play into someone’s self image. The need for education and acceptance is grossing with social media perpetuating standards and stereotypes as well as corporations advertising the social “ideal” of what someone should look like. This is on every scale.
So here are some things to keep in mind:
1: When giving a compliment try to compliment a choice, for example, hairstyle, outfits, shoes, or jewelry, these are the best compliments to give because they praise the individual’s taste rather than them as a being. Or avoid complimenting appearance as a whole and focus on that person’s qualities.
2: Everyone has their own perspective on what is positive and negative so something you may view as good or bad may be the opposite for another.
3: There is no such thing as perfect. If you feel like you are constantly trying to attain a certain image remember that perfection, when it comes to physical appearance, does not exist. Everything is subjective and there will always be people with different perspectives or opinions than you.
4: Do not judge. Everyone has a story and there might be things going on behind the scenes. Judging people by their appearance can harm them and it limits your ability to be open-minded.
Educating people on body positivity is extremely important. That being said, the question of empathy still comes into play. There is still a large number of people who don’t understand the gravity of body image education. It is so important to remember the impact of words on others and how we can better ourselves and the environment around us. So along with the education about body image, there needs to be more encouragement for empathy. In the coming years, I hope these lessons will continue to be taught since they are extremely necessary for the betterment of the social environment here at The Village School. Remember to be compassionate to yourself and others. The only way to create a safe space is to be an active member in spreading positivity. There is so much negative noise and expectations but being empathetic and understanding can actively combat that. It’s time we stop pressing visual appearances on people and focus on the beauty within.
